I don't know what to say about the acting, writing and directing in G.I. Joe because I couldn't find any. There were scads of pretty people posing awkwardly in military chic and tossing out lame one-liners. Take this exchange between Army pals Duke (Channing Tatum) and Ripcord (Marlon Wayans):
Ripcord: "I've been thinking."
Duke: "I warned you about that."
To be fair, not thinking is good advice if you line up for G.I. Joe, the next phase of Paramount's Cash for Clunkers campaign, begun with Transformers 2. You know, we lay out the cash and the studio thoughtfully supplies the clunkers.In a tight economy, why do we lavish cash on movies based on plastic battle toys? Maybe we just want some dumb fun. Too bad they left out the fun part. There are special effects, lots of them, but despite a reported $170 million budget, they look shockingly crappy. The Eiffel Tower appears to be destroyed by some green slime left over from the Ghostbusters films. Among the actors, the smartest are Sienna Miller and Joseph Gordon-Levitt. Not because they reveal depths of emotion but because they've disguised themselves so as not to be easily recognized.
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