Orphan : Movie Review

Movies have been trying to warn us for years that children are evil. As everything in film is supposed to carry some sort of meaning, it’s possibly their way in warning against the dangers of overpopulation. From Patty McCormack in The Bad Seed and all the tykes of Village of the Damned up to little Damian in The Omen and a Japanese horror industry that seems to be entirely dependent on the concept, these are kids that need a time out in hell. In-between the occasional resurrection of this sub-genre there have been certain unwritten rules in the movies that the imaginary characters are never told about before they get into certain scrapes. Such ideas like never partnering with Clint Eastwood or marrying Harrison Ford are about to be joined by the fact that you never have a kid with Vera Farmiga. The few people who saw the overlooked 2007 Sundance premiere, Joshua, know what I’m talking about. Her mental faculties may have gotten the better of her in that film, so can she pull it together to take on a creepy little girl? You’ll discover the answer if you see the film but may be wondering about the filmmakers’ mental acuity (and mine) well before. This is a poorly directed wannabe horror film that nevertheless contains more laughs than The Proposal, The Ugly Truth, Ghosts of Girlfriends Past and Land of the Lost combined. Is that a compliment? Kind of.

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Author : Erik Childress