Words cannot accurately describe what a depressing experience each new film from spoof-laden writer-directors Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer is. These two lucky bastards are the absolute dirges of modern cinema, cobbling together laughless visual and technical monstrosities that wouldn't pass muster in an amateur filmmaking school for the mentally disabled. And yet, due to a bored teenybopper youth market that will apparently go see anything rated PG-13 on a Friday night, their projects do well enough financially for Friedberg and Seltzer to again and again receive the money from studio 20th Century Fox to annually recreate their previous year's creative failure. 2006's hacky "Date Movie" at least had the benefit of the lovely Alyson Hannigan in the lead role, but 2007's worst picture, "Epic Movie," and now the "300"-inspired "Meet the Spartans" are beyond repair, so offensively atrocious in every facet that the act of watching them is akin to witnessing a tragic death occur before one's eyes while onlookers off to the side cackle and point.

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